and just like that…. a redemption song

For years, I have repeatedly been surprised by God. You know the kind of surprises that scream, “I’m a miracle”. The events that happen when you least expect them in ways that don’t make sense. The choices people make that you would never imagine. Moments that make you realize that giving up is never anRead more

Mental Illness Awarness Week- a glimpse into my family’s struggle with mental illness

As I have mentioned before, the last two years have been the toughest yet in terms of my mother’s battle with Schizoaffective Disorder. Currently her disease looks a lot more like Schizophrenia as there has been no recovery from the crippling psychosis. In honor of mental health awareness week, I am sharing some of the struggles weRead more

Why I share the hard stuff…

It has been 70 days since we delivered our son and came to terms with the realization that he would not be in our arms come November. We would not hear him cry, see him smile, or see Aisley interact with him. He is gone from our temporary life here on earth and we are okay with that.Read more

Carried. The story of Amos John.

It was March 5th. Doug had recently started traveling for work each week and he was back for the weekend! One of my very best friends was visiting and we all had just run the Fresh 15 race. The day was so fun. I don’t think I stopped smiling (except for that last mile ofRead more

My experience with the stigma of mental illness

Humans need connection. We need to relate and want to feel a part of something. Research proves this. Unfortunately, mental Illness leaves individuals and families more alone than any other illness. How often do we hear friends, family, coworkers, and church talking or praying for mental illness? Yet, how often do we hear the words, high blood pressure,Read more

For my mom on Mother’s Day

  Mom, I know you didn’t plan things to turn out this way I wish you could understand what we go through every day I know if you could, you would take it all away You would tell me not to worry and go on with my life You would tell Dad you were sorryRead more

How I manage anxiety

As I mentioned in my last post, I have suffered from anxiety for a very long time, however, I really did not realize I had generalized anxiety until later in life. Once I was able to identify what was going on and that I did not have to always feel that way, I was fullRead more

I have anxiety but it doesn’t have me…

I remember we were in my parent’s large bed, it was dark, and I was lying on her shoulder when she first spoke words that scared me to my core. She was my protector for so long, but after that night, everything changed. She told me to be very quiet and asked if I heardRead more

Broken Vessels

The band at church was singing “Broken Vessels” by Hillsong United, which includes parts of the song “Amazing Grace”. “Amazing Grace happens to be one of my mom’s favorite songs. “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found was blind but now IRead more

The current state of things…

As of a little over a week ago, mom was still in the hospital and we had yet to hear a thing. I was getting my hair cut when my phone rang. I let it go and did not think a thing of it, but then it rang again and again… and again. There isRead more